July is disability pride month. I am proud that people with disabilities including myself continue to fight for our rights. I wish everyone would understand that anyone can become disabled at any time. Please try to have more compassion and understanding because you could end up in the same situation. Anything in life could happen to you. 

The sunflower in the drawing above is for hidden disabilities such as not being able to talk, or  hear or a learning disability or anxiety or depression. 

As I get older and wiser, I think of every relationship whether it’s family, a friend or a romantic relationship as if they are teachers. When I was in school, at the end of the school year, teachers went  out of my life. I learned a lot from them and what I learned made a big impact and will last a lifetime. A friendship or a romantic relationship may not last long, but I have learned something from everyone who has come into my life. If a relationship doesn’t last, it doesn’t mean I did anything wrong, it just means the relationship served its purpose and time, and it is time to move on to the next phase to learn something new from other people. If a friendship or romantic relationship doesn’t last for you, don’t blame yourself for why it ended, just think about what you learned and apply it to the next relationship. 

Sometimes people may come back into your life to teach you something new, but if they don’t respect you or fit in with your values, it’s best to let let them go. 

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My old Permobil power wheelchair was donated to the ALS Association. I’m so happy someone who needs it is going to be able to use it. 

It’s so easy to focus on what’s going wrong  instead of what’s going right in life so I decided to list what I am grateful for. I am grateful that: 

I am a survivor of cerebral palsy and breast cancer and thankful for my health overall. 

I have family and friends who care about me and love me even though no relationship is perfect except the relationships I have with all of my dogs over the years. 

I have lived in beautiful places such as Hawaii and California.

I live in a nice neighborhood and house.

I wake up in the morning and can sleep peacefully at night.

I can breathe on my own. 

I can talk.               

I can smile.

I can laugh.

I can call and yell for help.

I can talk on the phone.

I can taste chocolate. 

I can smell chocolate. 

I can see sunflowers, tulips and roses. 

I can hear birds singing. 

I can use my left arm.

I can dress myself. 

I can feed myself.

I can take myself to the bathroom.

I can sit in my power wheelchair so I can get out of the house.

I can write and express myself well. 

I can read and listen to books. 

I can do artwork with pastels and paint 

I can learn even though I might not understand something right away, but that’s okay. 

I can workout and ride a bike even though I cannot walk. 

I graduated from Rutgers University.

I volunteered in Mexico to build houses.

I visited Scotland.

I visited Seattle, Washington/Whidbey Island. 

I have been on cruises to Canada and the Caribbean. 

I drove across country. 

I was a mentor to other people who have disabilities. 

I was able to do a summer internship in Washington, D.C. at the Coast Guard.

I try my best with anything and that’s all I can do. 

I am getting help with my mental health and am feeling better about myself. 

If I were to die today or tomorrow, I don’t have regrets except for taking circumstances personally and blaming myself for many years. My advice is try not to take circumstances personally or blame yourself because it takes away from your peace and happiness. 

What are you grateful for?

• My daily mantras are: I am worthy of love, peace, and joy. My thoughts do not define me—I choose to embrace kindness, strength, and self-compassion.

• Its not what I do for a living that matters, it’s how I treat myself and others that matters.

• Communication has gone downhill. Sometimes I’ll be expecting a response like a thank you or a sorry for what you’re going through. Instead, I don’t get a response. I feel like we live in a society where people don’t respond unless you ask a question. That’s sad because sometimes not responding is like they are too busy or don’t care. I know they probably care and maybe they are going through a difficult time themselves, but they come across as though they don’t care. Maybe they think if the person doesn’t ask a question, they don’t want a response, they only want to tell or vent. It’s sad we live in a fast paced society and people don’t really slow down to talk to one other and get distracted especially since the existence of texting and social media.

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• Don’t react quickly. Ask yourself would this upset me if someone said that to me? If so, it’s best not to say anything. 

• It’s sad how rehab and nursing home facilities are understaffed and most of the staff don’t care about the patients. Some people lack compassion and don’t put themselves in other people’s shoes. A lot of people don’t realize or want to think that they could become sick or disabled at any time. They should think about how they would feel if they were treated differently or poorly when they become sick or disabled.

• Remember not to become like the people who hurt you. As much as I don’t want to see them again, sometimes people come back into my life to remind me to not be like them. Whatever they did to hurt you, don’t let that define your self worth. You are worthy and loved just the way you are!
  

• In my dream world, my house would have an outdoor and indoor heated swimming pool with a ramp and chair lift and a roll-in flat shower. I would have only dogs or cats as caregivers as they are always there for me, and they might tease me, but don’t b.s. me. I wish people could be more trustworthy, loyal and give unconditional love no matter what like dogs or cats do.